People are obsessed with Facebook.
Most people seem to have a real love/hate relationship with this particular flavor of social media. I admit, I am one of those people who can be found whiling away the hours with my phone in hand scrolling through the newsfeeds of my “friends.” Sometimes to pass the time, sometimes just out of habit. Yeah, I spend a lot of time on there- but you know what? I have actually made some really meaningful connections on it. I have found amazing causes and interest groups that are very carefully aligned with what I want to do, how I want to teach my children, and most importantly- information that would otherwise be suppressed. So I am actually a fan of Facebook for the most part. I enjoy taking part in it.
But Facebook can be a really mean place.
Ever since this study came out a while back- (I will add the actual study later) that said that people who post about how happy they are on Facebook are actually depressed? Or self absorbed?- Oh good! You read it! I just feel like… I can’t really share much of myself without being judged.
Is she REALLY that happy? Come on, her husband can’t be THAT wonderful?
Well, yes I am and yes he is, and I am sorry if that makes people upset. I am tired of censoring my happy. I am tired of refraining from posting how IN LOVE I am with my life- because I am afraid.
Before you go thinking this is all in my head, I have actually received messages regarding these very things…
” No one wants to hear how blessed you are.”
“Why does it have to go on FACEBOOK?”
“You used to be so independent and now you seem so domestic and oppressed”
This is just a small sampling of the kinds of things I have gotten. We have created this society of haters- You mustn’t be too happy or people will hide you, BUT don’t be miserable either, because that will get you hidden as well- come to think of it? How about you don’t post at all? Why not just observe?
My dad has this saying,
“People want you to do well, but not too well, and never better than them.”
Isn’t that depressing? Isn’t it absolutely tragic that we measure our successes by other people’s failures? Well, my day sucked, but his day really sucked so I guess I am doing ok?
Now for those of you wondering (cause I know you are) why I feel so compelled to put my business out there on Facebook? It isn’t because I want people to envy me, goodness no, and it isn’t to make everyone sick of listening to me talk about my life- it is because like many people I use Facebook as a sort of online diary. It shows me where I am and where I have been! Thanks to an amazing app called Timehop- I get daily updates about my Facebook messages for the last 5 years on that day- I can see how much my life has changed! in April I get to see myself fall in love with my husband all over again, and cover your ears haters because I STILL get butterflies! In June I get to relive the birth of my gorgeous daughter and in December, my son! I even had a book made with all mine and my husband’s Facebook statuses from when we met leading up to our wedding! I still remember the way I felt (he was deployed for part of that) every time a letter would come, or I would see a message from him.
I would get messages from everyone.. telling me to cool it, stop putting my relationship out there for the world to see. It was nauseating, they told me. Well guess what? Some of those same people.. were private messaging me down the road asking for marriage and dating tips- how do we stay so in love? How do we keep it new? And did I tell them anyway? You bet I did. But after so much complaining and comments behind the scenes about being too happy- I decided that I needed to scale it back a little- maybe only post every 3rd amazing thing… after all- no one needs that kind of positivity in their life. People if given the choice, would rather be miserable. Through no fault of their own, it is just human nature…We don’t think we deserve to be happy- so it’s easier to expect misery.
Then yesterday, Mr. Wright hands me my fortune from a cookie at dinner. “This is yours,” he said. This is what it said:
A man who trims himself to suit everybody will soon whittle himself away.
And THAT, was all I needed. No more censoring my happy! No more hiding how great my life is to please other people! No more failing to put it out to the universe how GRATEFUL I am for all the gifts G-d has bestowed on me!
Today when I woke up, the first thing I did was post a status filled with joy, and gratitude and HAPPINESS! It made me feel instantly happier! I hope it makes other folks day a little brighter too! Maybe it will earn me a few more haters… but you know what? I can live with that! My husband has this really great quote from somewhere ” If you have a million haters- you must be doing something right?”
Looks like I am doing something right!