So there I was, completely surrounded by these things- I mean there were like 15 of them! Big, hairy, ugly creatures with big googly eyes and they were all dancing.. and I was afraid they were gonna crush me so I curled up in this little ball and PLOP- out pops the baby… only he wasn’t a baby, he was like a full grown toddler! And he was GREEN!!
No. This isn’t the twisted plot of some Sci-Fi B movie. This is actually an excerpt of a dream I had last night. I am sure there were even creepier parts that my poor psyche has chosen to suppress but this little snippet somehow impacted me enough to remember.
I am sure many of you have heard the song, “Better Man,” in which Eddie Vedder of Pearl Jam sings “She dreams in color she dreams it real..” Well let me tell ya- the chick in that song was probably pregnant because pregnancy dreams are the most bizarre, random, wacky dreams you could ever imagine…and I pride myself on having a pretty decent imagination.
Like last night’s Yo Gabba Gabba-esque dream, most of my pregnancy dreams are very colorful and contain lots of characters. Not necessarily people from my life, a la Wizard of Oz, but definitely an interesting cast of folks. The other common thread is that they all have to do with having this baby- and he is always gigantic.
I swear I am not trying to sound like a goody-two-shoes when I say this but I have never experimented with any type of drug, so I don’t have any idea what hallucinations or trips or any of that stuff feels like. Nevertheless, I have to believe these dreams come close. I mean talking broccoli? What does that even mean?
The craziest thing about these dreams though isn’t the dream itself, but the fact that so much can manage to happen in the short amount of time I am actually asleep! It is no secret that the third trimester isn’t the most comfortable one for sleeping. It takes a good hour sometimes more to get this whale of a body into a position where sleep can actually happen, and it seems like by the time that happens, it’s already time to wake up? So how then does my brain have time to put on these triple features in my head and I am only sleeping for what feels like a few minutes? Beats the heck out of me….
I can just imagine going to see one of those dream doctors- the ones who are supposed to interpret your dreams, I bet they have a no-pregnancy policy- you know why? Cause the darn things don’t make any freaking sense!
Yes well, your ideations of cart-wheeling cheese wheels coupled with your recurring theme of being attacked by soda straws….
See what I mean? Useless…Come to think of it, analyzing anything about a person while they are pregnant is kind of useless. Your eyesight is bad? You’re pregnant. Your feet are sore?Oh well, You’re pregnant. Your head just fell off and rolled away, well.. nothing we can do about it now.. you’re pregnant.
But I digress…